Just 2 months later in July, I found out I was pregnant. The doctors told us we couldn't get pregnant on our own, but the Lord had another plan. This was our miracle baby that we had prayed for for so many years. We were thrilled. Unfortunately, our happiness turned to sorrow when at 21 weeks, we lost our baby. My daughter Zoe Renae was born still on October 8, 2004. She died due to cord accident in the womb. That was the hardest day of my life. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about my baby girl. As I write this I just realized that yesterday was my due date. Feb 17, 2005. Wow. OK, start the water works. It's been 5 years and while the pain is not as intense as that day, it's still there.
After attending a healing service just 8 weeks after I delivered Zoe, we conceived once again on our own. We were excited, yet cautious to put it mildly. I was freaked out. I started to bleed at 6 weeks and continued to do so until week 16. I just knew at anytime I was going to miscarry. Thankfully, I didn't. My second miracle was born on August 25, 2005 and her name is Brooklyn. She lights up the room with her dimply smile and charm.
When Brooklyn was 11 months old we decided to try again for another baby. I am the oldest of 4 girls (my mom had 4 girls in 5 years) and I loved being close in age to my sisters. I wanted that same thing for Brooklyn. We had 5 frozen embryos from our failed IVF and we wanted to give them a chance at life. God had other plans once again when I decided to take a HPT on a whim before starting my Lupron injections. Yep you guessed it, I was already pregnant. My daughter Sydney was born on March 23, 2007. My baby will be 3 next month and she and her older sissy are best friends. They are 19 months apart and I wouldn't have it any other way.
The Lord has richly blessed me more than I could ever comprehend. I would have never picked this journey to go down, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I know the Lord in a way that I would have never experienced had I not gone through infertility. I'm able to help other women through something that can be so incredibly painful and for that I am grateful.
I want to encourage you if you are struggling with infertility that there is hope. I believe the Lord does give us the desires of our hearts. Most of the time it's not on our time, which is the hardest part. Romans 8:25 says, "But if we hope for what we do no yet have, we wait patiently for it". I got to the point in my journey where I just had to believe God for my miracle. Some days that was easier than others. On the days that were hard I would pray out loud and thank God that my miracle was coming. I couldn't see it with my eyes, but I believed God would do it. One of my favorite verses that helped me through my journey and continues to encourage me is found in Hebrews 11:1, "Faith is being sure of what is hoped for and certain of what we do not see." Stand on that today. Know that He does hear your prayers and that He will bring it to fruition. Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord".
note: This is the abridged version of my story. I'm finishing the manuscript of my book, "Hope in the Waiting" which tells my journey through infertility, as well as other women's journey's, including Kelly's, that will be out later this year. If you would like to talk with me I would be happy to do so. You can email me at email@example.com Blessings.