I called Brian at work and told him I wanted to go to the ER. He rushed home and we went. The dr asked me some questions and she figured out what had happened. Before surgery yesterday, they put a Scopolamine patch on behind my right ear. It's a patch to help with nausea after surgery. You can wear it up to 72 hours afterward. Well I forgot I still had it on and decided to take it off this morning. I remember the nurse saying I needed to wash my hands after I took it off. I did exactly that. However, I didn't wash my neck very well and I think I rubbed my neck then touched my eyes and it caused the dilation.
We just got home a little bit ago and I decided to hop on the computer to see if I could get some more information on this patch. Turns out that it causes blurred vision if you have a reaction to it. I think just having it on caused it. Another interesting fact is that this is the same medicine eye doctor's use to dilate your eyes. Go figure. Only I would have a reaction to this patch.
I told Brian when we got to the ER, that I didn't want to see the inside of a hospital for a very long time. I'm just completely worn out. It's all a little surreal really. Sometimes I can't believe that all of this has happened in the last month and other times it feels like it's been months. It's crazy how life can turn upside down in a matter of minutes.
I was laying in bed today and looked over at our wedding photo on the wall. I looked at this picture of two young adults with huge smiles on their faces so happy to be starting their lives together. They probably never would have guessed what the next 9 years of life would hold for them. All the years of infertility, finally getting pregnant with their miracle baby only to lose her at 21 weeks due to a freak accident. She got the cord wrapped around her neck in the womb. Thankfully 2 months later she got pregnant with another little girl and then another healthy girl entered the world 19 months later. How they desperately wanted to have another baby. In the next 2 years they would face 2 more early miscarriages. However, their sorrow turned to joy when they found out they were expecting again at the end of May. This time they just knew in their hearts it would be a boy. They had been praying for 2 years to have a son. They were right. They had a son. It just wasn't the way they had planned.
Funny thing about life is that you can make all the plans you want to and sometimes they turn out the way you want them too and sometimes they don't. I'm learning to accept that fact. I can't see the bigger picture right now in my sorrow, but I know God does. That's what I cling to. I trully find peace in that. It's not easy I admit. I am a worrier by nature and anyone that knows me well knows that. That's something I am really trying to work through with the Lord. It's exhausting to worry really, so why do I do it? I'd be rich if I knew the answer to that question, but I am bound and determined to be rid of the fear. A sweet friend came over yesterday and prayed for me before I left for the hospital. She said something that has stuck with me. She said, "When you get scared, reach out for the hem of His garment and hold on". I love that visual. My picture looks a little more like I'm holding on as he walks and I am being dragged along the ground like Indiana Jones behind a fast moving truck. At least there are no giant snakes or rats.