Gift of God

A Son. Wow how I have longed for the day I would be able to say those words. This announcement is not printed up on a pretty piece of paper like I had envisioned it would have been. However, that doesn't make it any less important. I am a mom and my husband is a dad to an amazing little boy. Let me introduce you to:

Jonathan Andrew Lord born August 12, 2010.

Jonathan means, "Gift of God". It also has special meaning for me because he is named after my amazing dad John. Andrew means "Warrior". It is also a family name on the Lord side. We thought it was a perfect name for our first son.

The labor went as well as to be expected and was pain free. That was an amazing answer to prayer. About an hour before delivery my body began to shake violently and I couldn't control it. This lasted for about 30 min. I knew my body was getting ready to deliver my precious baby. Right before 5 pm our son was born.

This was not the way it was supposed to be. He should have come out screaming and instead he was silent. He should have been 8 lbs like the girls were, instead he was just a few ounces. No matter what, he was our son. After having 3 girls, he was the son we had prayed and believed God for for 2 years. The brother the girls had prayed for and couldn't wait to play with. They will not have that chance and my heart just aches for them. They are processing it in their own way and I know they will be the much needed healing for our souls.

I want to say a huge thank you for those that have prayed for us. Prayers have been offered up all over the country for us and I can't thank you enough. Know they are felt and it will be those prayers that will sustain us in the coming weeks and months. We've been down this road before with our precious daughter Zoe so we know how hard it will be.

Thank you Brandy for watching the girls while we were at our doctors. Thank you Sonya for keeping the girls while we were in the hospital. Thank you Mandy for coming and sitting with me in the hospital while I was out of it and doped up on Morphine. Your friendships are invaluable and I will always treasure them.

Thank you to my family. They have walked this journey with us before and I know their heart aches to see us in so much pain again. Thanks dad for staying the night with the girls and for being a great papa to them. Thanks Stace for bringing them to the hospital tonight to visit us and for taking them home. Sorry Sydney screamed the whole way home. Rachelle, Jamie and mom, thanks for coming by the hospital to sit with us. Your presence meant the world to us. Mom and Ro I know it was hard to sit there and watch me physically shake and cry. Thank you for praying for me during that time. Heather I know you wished you could be there and know that I understand and I was glad you were at home taking care of your husband. I love you all.

Finally to my husband. I am amazed by your strength. You are my rock when I need you the most. I don't know what I would do without you. You are the love of my life and who would have ever believed the pain we would have to endure when we said "I Do" over 9 years ago. For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, I will love you forever. You are an amazing husband and father and we are so blessed to have you in our lives.

Lord, thank you for my son Jonathan and my daughter Zoe. Thank you for giving me the privilege of carrying them for the time I was allotted. Thank you that Zoe now has her little brother to play with there in Heaven. Wow what an awesome sight that must be. Thank you for my 4 children, Zoe, Brooklyn, Sydney and Jonathan. I am one blessed mom indeed.

Aug 12, from Jesus Calling devotional. "Come to me when you are weak and weary. Rest snugly in My everlasting arms. I do not despise your weakness, My child. Actually it draws Me closer to you, because weakness stirs up My compassion-My yearning to help. Accept yourself in your weariness, knowing that I understand how difficult your journey has been".


Sonya said...

Love the name you and Brian chose. Beautiful. Praying for you daily.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith said...

What a bittersweet post. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God surround you all with his loving arms and comfort you during this difficult time. Your children are blessed to have a mom with such a strong faith.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

mel @ the larson lingo said...

Thank you for being so brave & sharing your son with us. What a beautiful name & meaning. I am incredibly sorry for your loss & you have been in my prayers the past few days. I will continue praying for you & your family.

Taryn Fowler said...

I cannot imagine your pain... I am praying for you and I hope you are able to rest in the peace of God's promises. Jeremiah 29:11

Becca said...

Krista...we are praying for you. I am sorry for everything you are going through.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalm 46:1-3

Beth said...

You chose a beautiful name for your son. God bless you today and as you move forward.

Chrissie said...

Love your words and love you. Thinking of you and praying.

Lisa said...

Praying for you and your beautiful family!

Anonymous said...

Krista, my daughter lost a baby girl about a year ago. Around October, I was finally able to write this lyric. Don't have the music yet, but I hope it is a blessing to you:


She came into our lives one day
an announcement to a mom-to-be,
She made us celebrate and dream
of what we’d do someday

But she never got to see the sun
or dress up like a queen
her days so short that some would say
she never got to be

We wanted her to play with us
to laugh and dance and sing
her daddy’s hand to grip so tight
Her fingers in a ring

But she never got to see the sun
or dress up like a queen
her days so short that some would say
she never got to be

But we know better, and His Word is true
In spite of Adam’s sin
she’s now in Jesus’ arms to stay
who said “in loss, we gain.”

Oh, she never got to see the sun
or dress up like a queen
her days so short that some would say
she never got to be

Yes, it’s true she never got to be much of anything...
Except loved!

Jim McDermott

Elisabeth said...

I've been praying for all of you. I hope our sons become friends in heaven. I am so sorry your going through this, my heart is so broken for you.

Mandy said...

Love you sweet Krista. I am inspired by your strength and unwaivering faith. Thank you for being a wonderful friend and spiritual mentor. We will laugh again soon my friend.

Natalie.Rob.Branson said...

You continue to be in our prayers. Thank you for sharing Jonathan's story with us. What a lucky little man he is to be part of such an incredibly loving, faithful family. It is beautiful to picture Zoe and Jonathan hand-in-hand watching over you as your mourn their passing. I have no doubt they are with you, and have been given the opportunity to be your guardian angels. I love you and pray that peace and strength will be yours.

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