Thank you to all the women who shared their story on my blog. I found it comforting to read your stories. Your stories gives other women, who have suffered the same loss, a sense that they are not alone in their journey. I was telling a dear friend of mine who called me yesterday, how I feel a sense of community with women who have lost a child. She understood because she lost her son Max just a year before I lost Zoe. There is such comfort in talking with her because she knows exactly how I feel. Thank you Jen for your words of encouragement to me. They penetrated my soul. Love you sweet friend.
I wanted to share a video of my sisters and I singing on Thursday night. It was so fun to be reunited with them. It had been 5 long years since we had been on the road. Thursday night the stage felt like home once again. This is one of my favorite songs to sing and one of the most requested songs when we did our concerts back in the day. I hope you enjoy it. So you know who is singing; from left to right is Rachelle, Me, Heather and Stacy.
We've got a fun filled weekend planned with the girls and thankfully it's supposed to be a beautiful Fall weekend. What do you have planned this weekend?
We Remember
Today I remember my daughter and my son, both are in the arms of Jesus. I would like to share with you their stories.
Early summer of 2004, during a routine ultrasound, I learned the amazing news I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it. After 3 years of infertility,
and a failed IVF, I was pregnant with our miracle baby. The doctors told us we had no hope of conceiving on our own, but God had other plans.
My husband and I were thrilled, and like any soon to be parents, started talking about names and all the things we couldn't wait to do. My pregnancy
progressed with ease and at 21 weeks, we couldn't wait to hear if we were having a boy or a girl. At 1:30, on October 6, 2004 our world came crashing down.
I knew something was terribly wrong when our ultrasound tech said, "I'm seeing something I don't like. I am going to go get your doctor". She left the room and
all I could say was, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus". My doctor came in and said, "Krista, I am so sorry there is no heartbeat." I went into shock. I couldn't cry. It was
the strangest feeling. She told us I would have to deliver.
I was admitted to the hospital the next day and on October 8, 2005 at 5:30 am our daughter was born still. My doctor knew immediately what had caused her death.
The cord was wrapped around her neck twice. It was so tight that my doctor had to cut it off. We were crushed.
We hadn't decided on a name at that point and I remember a nurse coming in to ask us if we wanted to see a baby name book. I told her we would. I found the name
Zoe which I thought was perfect for her. It meant "life". We decided on her middle name to be Renae which means "reborn". She was "life reborn." So fitting for her.
She was reborn into the arms of Jesus where she would have eternal life. Brian and I got to hold her and our families got to see her and say goodbye. It was the hardest day of my life. Little did I know, that
more pain would be in store for us, just 6 years later.
Brian and I had always dreamed about having a big family. We both come from families with 4 children. I have 3 sisters and Brian has 2 brothers and a sister. By the time Sydney was
2 we started trying again. I suffered 2 very early miscarriages in June of 2008 and January of 2009. In May of this year we learned we were pregnant again. We had been praying for a boy and
I just knew when I found out I was pregnant, that it was a boy. By the time I got past the first trimester, I was feeling pretty positive. I had to believe that I would have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
One night when I was using my dopplar, which I would do on occasion, I had a hard time finding the baby's heartbeat. Normally this would take me a minute or two to find, but I searched for what seemed
like an hour and couldn't find it. I started to panic. I knew in my heart something was wrong. The next morning I called my OB and told him what was going on and he said to come in for an ultrasound.
I couldn't look at the screen. I was terrified. Then he said he saw the heartbeat. I was relieved, until he said, but something is not right. There is an arythmia. He sent me immediately to my high risk OB
for him to look at. Once again, fear and shock set in. I couldn't believe this was happening. Why us again?
When we got to the high risk OB, I was given an ultrasound. I knew right away. The tech said, "I'll be right back". Flashbacks of what happened with Zoe flooded my mind. I began to sing, "Father I adore you and
I lay my life before you, how I love you." Brian sang with me. We just kept singing until the doctor came in. I looked at him and said, "We know". That was it. I know he was incredibly sad for us. It was written all
over his face. Once again I couldn't cry. I was numb. Again, Lord? Why?
I was admitted to the hospital the next day and on August 12, 2010, my son was born. He was precious and perfect. He looked like his daddy and his PeePaw, (Brian's dad who he lost this past January). My doctor
suspected a blood clot in the placenta which, after testing, turned out to be correct. We had our son. We named him Jonathan Andrew. Jonathan means "Gift of God" and Andrew means "warrior". We named him after Jonathan in the Bible and Andrew is a family name on my husband's side. It was perfect.
My story that has been filled with unbelievable heartache, but I choose to trust and believe in a God that knows how the story ultimately ends. I have the amazing priviledge to be a mom of 4 children. 2 in heaven and 2 on earth. I wouldn't trade that for the world.
I would love to read your stories. Use the linky if you have a blog and if you don't have a blog, please share your story in the comments section. I would love to pray for you today and read your children's names outloud tonight when I light a candle for my daughter and son.
Early summer of 2004, during a routine ultrasound, I learned the amazing news I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it. After 3 years of infertility,
and a failed IVF, I was pregnant with our miracle baby. The doctors told us we had no hope of conceiving on our own, but God had other plans.
My husband and I were thrilled, and like any soon to be parents, started talking about names and all the things we couldn't wait to do. My pregnancy
progressed with ease and at 21 weeks, we couldn't wait to hear if we were having a boy or a girl. At 1:30, on October 6, 2004 our world came crashing down.
I knew something was terribly wrong when our ultrasound tech said, "I'm seeing something I don't like. I am going to go get your doctor". She left the room and
all I could say was, "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus". My doctor came in and said, "Krista, I am so sorry there is no heartbeat." I went into shock. I couldn't cry. It was
the strangest feeling. She told us I would have to deliver.
I was admitted to the hospital the next day and on October 8, 2005 at 5:30 am our daughter was born still. My doctor knew immediately what had caused her death.
The cord was wrapped around her neck twice. It was so tight that my doctor had to cut it off. We were crushed.
We hadn't decided on a name at that point and I remember a nurse coming in to ask us if we wanted to see a baby name book. I told her we would. I found the name
Zoe which I thought was perfect for her. It meant "life". We decided on her middle name to be Renae which means "reborn". She was "life reborn." So fitting for her.
She was reborn into the arms of Jesus where she would have eternal life. Brian and I got to hold her and our families got to see her and say goodbye. It was the hardest day of my life. Little did I know, that
more pain would be in store for us, just 6 years later.
Brian and I had always dreamed about having a big family. We both come from families with 4 children. I have 3 sisters and Brian has 2 brothers and a sister. By the time Sydney was
2 we started trying again. I suffered 2 very early miscarriages in June of 2008 and January of 2009. In May of this year we learned we were pregnant again. We had been praying for a boy and
I just knew when I found out I was pregnant, that it was a boy. By the time I got past the first trimester, I was feeling pretty positive. I had to believe that I would have a healthy pregnancy and baby.
One night when I was using my dopplar, which I would do on occasion, I had a hard time finding the baby's heartbeat. Normally this would take me a minute or two to find, but I searched for what seemed
like an hour and couldn't find it. I started to panic. I knew in my heart something was wrong. The next morning I called my OB and told him what was going on and he said to come in for an ultrasound.
I couldn't look at the screen. I was terrified. Then he said he saw the heartbeat. I was relieved, until he said, but something is not right. There is an arythmia. He sent me immediately to my high risk OB
for him to look at. Once again, fear and shock set in. I couldn't believe this was happening. Why us again?
When we got to the high risk OB, I was given an ultrasound. I knew right away. The tech said, "I'll be right back". Flashbacks of what happened with Zoe flooded my mind. I began to sing, "Father I adore you and
I lay my life before you, how I love you." Brian sang with me. We just kept singing until the doctor came in. I looked at him and said, "We know". That was it. I know he was incredibly sad for us. It was written all
over his face. Once again I couldn't cry. I was numb. Again, Lord? Why?
I was admitted to the hospital the next day and on August 12, 2010, my son was born. He was precious and perfect. He looked like his daddy and his PeePaw, (Brian's dad who he lost this past January). My doctor
suspected a blood clot in the placenta which, after testing, turned out to be correct. We had our son. We named him Jonathan Andrew. Jonathan means "Gift of God" and Andrew means "warrior". We named him after Jonathan in the Bible and Andrew is a family name on my husband's side. It was perfect.
My story that has been filled with unbelievable heartache, but I choose to trust and believe in a God that knows how the story ultimately ends. I have the amazing priviledge to be a mom of 4 children. 2 in heaven and 2 on earth. I wouldn't trade that for the world.
I would love to read your stories. Use the linky if you have a blog and if you don't have a blog, please share your story in the comments section. I would love to pray for you today and read your children's names outloud tonight when I light a candle for my daughter and son.
Back together again
My sisters and I are reuniting to sing for an awesome cause tonight. We haven't done a concert in 5 years since, we retired to be wives and mothers, and I am so excited to sing with them again. I am thrilled that the girls finally get to see their mommy sing on stage. The last concert we did Brooklyn was crawling around on the stage during sound check. Wow how time flies.
Don't forget tomorrow, I would love for you to join me in remembering those babies that were lost. Please link up your blog and tell us your story. If you don't have a blog, please leave your story in the comments section. I will be lighting 2 candles tomorrow night for Zoe & Jonathan. I would love to have a little ceremony where I read the names of the babies that were lost. I would love to include yours.
Don't forget tomorrow, I would love for you to join me in remembering those babies that were lost. Please link up your blog and tell us your story. If you don't have a blog, please leave your story in the comments section. I will be lighting 2 candles tomorrow night for Zoe & Jonathan. I would love to have a little ceremony where I read the names of the babies that were lost. I would love to include yours.Tuesday's Tip-Bow Holder
This is a fun Tuesday's Tip if you have a little girl. Moms of boys, you can partake in this too. It would make an adorable shower gift or birthday gift for a little girl. I promise they will think you are the most creative person in the world. What they won't realize is how easy and how inexpensive it is to make. The whole project costs a little less than $3. How's that for a bargain? Plus it's totally custom.
I went to Joann's and picked up my girls initials. Of course I had a coupon so I believe I spent $1 for each letter. Then I applied 2 coats of craft paint that I already had at the house. While I was at Joann's, I picked up some wide ribbon that matched the colors in their rooms. Brooklyn has pinks, greens and blues and Sydney at the time had pink and brown. I've since changed it to green, pink and yellow so I will probably be repainting hers and changing the ribbon.
Then I took the ribbon and wrapped it around the bottom of the initial and glued it. I used Super Glue because I don't have a glue gun. The last step is to attach a picture hanger to the back and you are done. It's that simple.

I would love to do something special this Friday for all of you who have lost a baby. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day. I will be posting my story in rememberance of my sweet angels in Heaven and I would like you to link up and share your story if you have a blog. If you don't have a blog, please share your story with me under the comments section.
I want to remember your babies right along with you. I know from experience when you are walking this journey you can feel so alone. Everyone around you is having their baby and you feel like you are the only one that is not. I am here to say that you are not alone and I want to honor you and your children. So please join me on Friday as we celebrate and remember our little ones who were gone too soon.
I went to Joann's and picked up my girls initials. Of course I had a coupon so I believe I spent $1 for each letter. Then I applied 2 coats of craft paint that I already had at the house. While I was at Joann's, I picked up some wide ribbon that matched the colors in their rooms. Brooklyn has pinks, greens and blues and Sydney at the time had pink and brown. I've since changed it to green, pink and yellow so I will probably be repainting hers and changing the ribbon.
Then I took the ribbon and wrapped it around the bottom of the initial and glued it. I used Super Glue because I don't have a glue gun. The last step is to attach a picture hanger to the back and you are done. It's that simple.

I would love to do something special this Friday for all of you who have lost a baby. October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day. I will be posting my story in rememberance of my sweet angels in Heaven and I would like you to link up and share your story if you have a blog. If you don't have a blog, please share your story with me under the comments section. I want to remember your babies right along with you. I know from experience when you are walking this journey you can feel so alone. Everyone around you is having their baby and you feel like you are the only one that is not. I am here to say that you are not alone and I want to honor you and your children. So please join me on Friday as we celebrate and remember our little ones who were gone too soon.
A Party for Zoe
Friday night we had a little birthday party for Zoe. We do this every year, but this year was the first year that the girls really got it. They know who their big sister is and where she lives. They were so excited. I had planned on making a cake, but the day got away from me, so I went to Publix and bought some colorful cupcakes instead. I also bought 6 pink balloons, one for every year she's been gone.
We miss you Zoe and we love you very much. We hope you liked your party from Heaven.
We miss you Zoe and we love you very much. We hope you liked your party from Heaven.
GOAAALLLL!!!
What a day! It started out early with a garage sale at my parent's house. I left my house at 6:30 to get there and set up by 7:00. I always say I am never going to do another one again because it's always so much work for not alot of money, but somehow I always talk myself into it. I made Brian promise that if I mentioned I was going to do another one, that he would stop me. We'll see.
Brian came with the girls around 9:00 so they could play with their cousins. It was nice to have him around to help me out when I wanted a break. We sold stuff until about 11:30 so we could get to Brooklyn's soccer game by noon. I made a little over $65 so not too bad. The best thing, I think, about garage sales is getting rid of all the stuff you just don't need. I have a rule that if it doesn't sell it goes to Goodwill. It does not come back home. Do you all have that same rule?
The girls got rid of alot of their toys that they just don't play with anymore. Brooklyn even got involved with the selling. She would tell the people who came to look at her toys, what she was doing with the money she received. A portion would go to giving, a portion to her savings and the rest she could spend on a new toy. She's obsessed, that's putting it mildly, with Zhu Zhu pets. She can seriously tell you every name of every Zhu Zhu pet known to man. Her daddy collected Star Wars figures when he was 5 and knew everything about them, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Tonight we made a run to Target so she could get her new Zhu Zhu pet. Thankfully they are on sale right now for $6.99 instead of $9.99.
We had to be at the soccer field by 11:45. It was hot, 86 degrees, to be playing at noon, but the girls all took it in stride. At the very beginning of the game Brooklyn got a breakaway and scored her very first goal. I couldn't believe it. I was so proud of her. Unfortunately, Brian was walking up to the field and so he didn't get it recorded on his iPhone. Thankfully, my friend Brandi did get it on video and I can't wait to get it so I can post it. You are a lifesaver Brandi. Thank you.
Then it was home for a quick bite to eat and then off to get my hair done. It was much overdue that's for sure. I needed to get it done before our concert this Thursday night. My sisters and I are reuniting for one night only for a benefit concert here in town to benefit a feeding program for kids in the Dominican Republic. I can't wait. It's been 5 years since we did a concert and we've been practicing like crazy. It's funny how everything comes flooding back. It's been fun to listen to our songs. It brings back so many great memories of being on the road and all the people we would meet. If you'd like to hear our music, you can go to our fan page on Facebook.
I hope you all are enjoying a beautiful weekend.
Brian came with the girls around 9:00 so they could play with their cousins. It was nice to have him around to help me out when I wanted a break. We sold stuff until about 11:30 so we could get to Brooklyn's soccer game by noon. I made a little over $65 so not too bad. The best thing, I think, about garage sales is getting rid of all the stuff you just don't need. I have a rule that if it doesn't sell it goes to Goodwill. It does not come back home. Do you all have that same rule?
The girls got rid of alot of their toys that they just don't play with anymore. Brooklyn even got involved with the selling. She would tell the people who came to look at her toys, what she was doing with the money she received. A portion would go to giving, a portion to her savings and the rest she could spend on a new toy. She's obsessed, that's putting it mildly, with Zhu Zhu pets. She can seriously tell you every name of every Zhu Zhu pet known to man. Her daddy collected Star Wars figures when he was 5 and knew everything about them, so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Tonight we made a run to Target so she could get her new Zhu Zhu pet. Thankfully they are on sale right now for $6.99 instead of $9.99.
We had to be at the soccer field by 11:45. It was hot, 86 degrees, to be playing at noon, but the girls all took it in stride. At the very beginning of the game Brooklyn got a breakaway and scored her very first goal. I couldn't believe it. I was so proud of her. Unfortunately, Brian was walking up to the field and so he didn't get it recorded on his iPhone. Thankfully, my friend Brandi did get it on video and I can't wait to get it so I can post it. You are a lifesaver Brandi. Thank you.
Then it was home for a quick bite to eat and then off to get my hair done. It was much overdue that's for sure. I needed to get it done before our concert this Thursday night. My sisters and I are reuniting for one night only for a benefit concert here in town to benefit a feeding program for kids in the Dominican Republic. I can't wait. It's been 5 years since we did a concert and we've been practicing like crazy. It's funny how everything comes flooding back. It's been fun to listen to our songs. It brings back so many great memories of being on the road and all the people we would meet. If you'd like to hear our music, you can go to our fan page on Facebook.
I hope you all are enjoying a beautiful weekend.
Happy Birthday Zoe
Six years ago my life changed forever. I became a mom. It didn't happened as I had planned. At 5:30 a.m. on October 8, 2004, I delivered my baby girl into the arms of Jesus.
I will never forget that day as long as I live. I will never forget holding her and wishing it wouldn't have turned out this way. This was our miracle baby that we had prayed for for over 3 years. It was the baby that dr's said we would never be able to conceive on our own, but we did. Why did this have to happen to us? It just didn't make sense.
What I couldn't see through my intense pain, was that God had another plan. Two months later we would conceive another baby, Zoe's sister, Brooklyn. Something that would not have happened if I was still pregnant with Zoe. That's kind of a hard concept to wrap my brain around some days, but it's one that brings me comfort. Her death made way for Brooklyn's life. Wow!
So today I remember you Zoe, my first born daughter. Oh how I miss you everyday sweetheart. How I wish I could see you playing with your sisters. You would have loved playing with them. They are awesome. I wish I could've seen you grow up. You would have been in Kindergarten this year. Maybe you would have started soccer and loved it as much as your mommy did? All the what ifs are hard for me, but I wouldn't change it because I know you are in paradise. A place that is far more beautiful than anything you could have experienced here on earth. I am so glad you have your baby brother there to play with. That puts a smile on my face. One day I will be with you again my precious daughter, but until that day, know how much I love you and I miss you terribly.
Tonight we will sing Happy Birthday to you and release 6 pink balloons in the air. Will you be able to see them? I hope so. I know your sissies can't wait to blow out your candles. Happy 6th birthday Zoe. Thank you for making me a mommy. I love you.
I will never forget that day as long as I live. I will never forget holding her and wishing it wouldn't have turned out this way. This was our miracle baby that we had prayed for for over 3 years. It was the baby that dr's said we would never be able to conceive on our own, but we did. Why did this have to happen to us? It just didn't make sense.
What I couldn't see through my intense pain, was that God had another plan. Two months later we would conceive another baby, Zoe's sister, Brooklyn. Something that would not have happened if I was still pregnant with Zoe. That's kind of a hard concept to wrap my brain around some days, but it's one that brings me comfort. Her death made way for Brooklyn's life. Wow!
So today I remember you Zoe, my first born daughter. Oh how I miss you everyday sweetheart. How I wish I could see you playing with your sisters. You would have loved playing with them. They are awesome. I wish I could've seen you grow up. You would have been in Kindergarten this year. Maybe you would have started soccer and loved it as much as your mommy did? All the what ifs are hard for me, but I wouldn't change it because I know you are in paradise. A place that is far more beautiful than anything you could have experienced here on earth. I am so glad you have your baby brother there to play with. That puts a smile on my face. One day I will be with you again my precious daughter, but until that day, know how much I love you and I miss you terribly.
Tonight we will sing Happy Birthday to you and release 6 pink balloons in the air. Will you be able to see them? I hope so. I know your sissies can't wait to blow out your candles. Happy 6th birthday Zoe. Thank you for making me a mommy. I love you.
Tuesday's Tip-Chalk Board Tags
Have you ever seen something in a store and you think to yourself, "I could totally make that and for way less money?" I do that a lot, but rarely do I have the time to see that to fruition. Today, while the girls were in school, I decided to make something that I have been wanting to make for awhile.
I saw some chalk board tags at a local shop a few weeks ago and I really liked them. They weren't expensive either, $2 each. I could have bought them, but I decided I wanted the challenge of making them instead. I've been wanting a way to label some baskets for the girls shoes and came up with this idea.
I went to Joann's and for .29 cents each, bought 3 round wooden circles. I drilled a small hole into each of them and then painted each circle with chalk board paint. I recommend painting each one about 3 times. Let the paint cure for 24 hours before writing on them. Then I just threaded some jute that I had through the hole. You can use any kind of string or even ribbon if you wanted. It's really that simple and I loved how they turned out. The whole project cost me under a $1. Not bad.

The baskets are from Target and were about $15 each. I just noticed I still have the tag on the back. Need to go cut those off.
Now Brian and the girls know which basket to put their shoes in. Now I need to figure out what else around the house needs labeling. Where could you use these tags in your house?
I saw some chalk board tags at a local shop a few weeks ago and I really liked them. They weren't expensive either, $2 each. I could have bought them, but I decided I wanted the challenge of making them instead. I've been wanting a way to label some baskets for the girls shoes and came up with this idea.
I went to Joann's and for .29 cents each, bought 3 round wooden circles. I drilled a small hole into each of them and then painted each circle with chalk board paint. I recommend painting each one about 3 times. Let the paint cure for 24 hours before writing on them. Then I just threaded some jute that I had through the hole. You can use any kind of string or even ribbon if you wanted. It's really that simple and I loved how they turned out. The whole project cost me under a $1. Not bad.
The baskets are from Target and were about $15 each. I just noticed I still have the tag on the back. Need to go cut those off.
Now Brian and the girls know which basket to put their shoes in. Now I need to figure out what else around the house needs labeling. Where could you use these tags in your house?Into My Heart
What is the one thing your child could say that would make you happy? I've always thought it would be her first "mama", or "I love you mommy". While those things made me smile when she said them, today's words made me cry.
We had just pulled into our parking spot at church when all of a sudden from behind I hear a little voice say, "Come into my heart God". I jumped out of the front seat and opened up the sliding door and said, "Sydney, do you want to ask Jesus into your heart"? Without hesitation she said yes. I said, "OK, I am going to lead you into a prayer and I want you to say it after me." With tears in my eyes, I lead my precious 3 year old in a prayer. She repeated every word I said verbatim. I was such a proud mama. I leaned over and gave her a kiss. I knew this day would come, but I didn't realize it would be at such a young age. She's always asking lots of questions about God and where He lives. I think it just finally clicked for her.
To my sweet Sydney Kate. Today has been one of the best days of my life. What an honor and a privilege it was to lead you in prayer to ask Jesus into your heart. There is nothing in the world you could ever do that would bring me greater joy than to know you love Jesus. I pray that you will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading for your life. I know He is doing a great work in you because I see it in how you love people. You love to go up to people and ask them their names and just sit and talk with them. When you find out a friend is sick you stop and pray for them. You prayed over your friend Grace last week when she was sick. On the way to school last week an ambulance went by and you said, "Mommy, are we going to pray for them"? You told me to turn off the radio and I prayed and then you prayed too. I love your sensitive heart my baby. I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you safe under the shadow of His wings. I love you so much.
We had just pulled into our parking spot at church when all of a sudden from behind I hear a little voice say, "Come into my heart God". I jumped out of the front seat and opened up the sliding door and said, "Sydney, do you want to ask Jesus into your heart"? Without hesitation she said yes. I said, "OK, I am going to lead you into a prayer and I want you to say it after me." With tears in my eyes, I lead my precious 3 year old in a prayer. She repeated every word I said verbatim. I was such a proud mama. I leaned over and gave her a kiss. I knew this day would come, but I didn't realize it would be at such a young age. She's always asking lots of questions about God and where He lives. I think it just finally clicked for her.
To my sweet Sydney Kate. Today has been one of the best days of my life. What an honor and a privilege it was to lead you in prayer to ask Jesus into your heart. There is nothing in the world you could ever do that would bring me greater joy than to know you love Jesus. I pray that you will be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading for your life. I know He is doing a great work in you because I see it in how you love people. You love to go up to people and ask them their names and just sit and talk with them. When you find out a friend is sick you stop and pray for them. You prayed over your friend Grace last week when she was sick. On the way to school last week an ambulance went by and you said, "Mommy, are we going to pray for them"? You told me to turn off the radio and I prayed and then you prayed too. I love your sensitive heart my baby. I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you safe under the shadow of His wings. I love you so much.
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